What If I Said?
by ArwenTurner
Summary: Songfic...Hermione is reflecting on her love for Harry. Based on the song of the same name by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner.


**What If I Said**

_Song is What If I Said By Anita Cochran & Steve Wariner (slightly adapted to suit the relationship)_

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Hermione sat in the common room opposite Harry, a book in her lap. It was 11pm, and the common room was almost empty. She watched the way he read his own book, occasionally furrowing his brow in confusion, or turning a page, or when he finds what he is looking for and jots it down on the parchment on the table.

_We've been friends for a long long time  
You tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine  
She's left you all alone  
And you feel like no one cares  
But I have never failed you  
I've always been there_

Okay, she thought to herself. I admit it...I like him. No...I can't! He's my friend, what am I thinking? I only feel like this because he's a close friend...I don't love him...and besides, he's only just broken up with that Cho Chang...again. God, how I hated that! She never respected him, she never loved him as I know he loved her...she didn't treat him how he should have been treated...how I could treat him...A pang of sadness tweaked at her heart as he put down his quill and rubbed his hands over his face. She knew he still missed her.

_You tell your story  
It sounds a bit like mine  
It's the same old situation  
It happens every time  
Can't we see it oh maybe you and me  
Is what's meant to be  
Do we disagree_

They had both been there. Hermione, in denial of her feelings for Harry, had attempted at relationships with other boys...but she couldn't live that lie...she couldn't pretend to be in love with any of those boys. Most of them knew her heart belonged to someone else. She didn't dare believe that they had the smallest chance together, her and Harry, but there was always that notion at the back of her head...it could be so perfect.

_What if I told you what if I said that I love you  
How would you feel what would you think  
What would we do  
Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine  
Or would I lose a friend or find a love that would never end  
What if I said_

Would it ruin their whole friendship? Many scenarios played over in her head...yeah, so what if they did go out? But when you go out with someone, more often than not...you stop going out with them, at some point. She cringed as she imagined the awkwardness of trying to be friends again after a relationship. A feeling of sadness washed over her as she realised that he could just as easily be like that if she only admitted her feelings. She imagined him turning away from her, saying that they are friends, and crossing that line would be...well, wierd. She imagined her own regret at being responsible for the destruction of a wonderful friendship. Better friends than nothing at all...right?

_She doesn't love you oh it's' plain to see  
I can read between the lines of what you're telling me  
She doesn't hold you the way a woman should  
How long can I go on keeping these feelings to myself_

It angered her, remembering how Cho treated him...she marched about everywhere and anywhere with him...like he was some trophy on her arm, and she saw no love, no warmth...no tenderness when they hugged. Cho always seemed pre-occupied, and barely raised a smile sometimes when Harry approached her. Hermione thought that was a total waste of a relationship...Just thinking these thoughts made her all the more desperate to run over to him and tell him.

_What if I told you what if I said that I love you  
How would you feel what would you think  
What would we do  
Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine  
Or would I lose a friend or find a love that would never end  
What if I said_

It was just too risky. He had stopped working again, and ran his hand through his hair, clearly tired and stressed. Hermione wanted more than ever to just hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But she couldn't...she hated even hugging him as a friend anymore, incase there was the slightest suspicion...not to say that she didn't cherish every second of the hugs they did share.

_Oh we've both had our share of lonliness  
So whose to say that we can't have a little happiness  
And if I found that in you  
It would make my dreams come true  
Or would you walk away  
Hear what I have to say_

Hermione felt she could sympathise with him...way better than Cho. They had always been close friends and knew just about everything there was to know about eachother. Despite his "fame" and popularity...he was lonely. He never really admitted this to Hermione...but she saw it in his eyes. She knew that feeling. You can be in a room surrounded by people and friends...and still feel like the only person in the world. Hermione had never admitted it to Harry either...how often she was ignored. People had never bullied her, as such, to her face, but she heard the whisperings behind her back, particulary when they noticed she sometimes spends whole days in the library. That hurt. But Harry would never dream of calling her names...Harry had even stood up for her once, when he heard some girls gossiping about her. They started to tease her about Harry and Ron too...because none of the girls in her year really talked to her. It was almost too perfect to be true...two lost, lonely souls...it could be so perfect.

_What if I told you what if I said that I love you  
How would you feel what would you think  
What would we do_

Harry stood up, yawned loudly and gathered up his books, and with a quick hug, left Hermione and went up to his dorm. She watched him go, a horrible pining sensation washing over her. She wanted him...she wanted to hug him and never let go. She wanted to protect him from all the horrible people in this school...she wanted him to love her back.

_Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine  
I've always wondered from the day we met  
What if I said  
What if I said  
What if I said_


End file.
